Kelly Clarkson Admits She Has Been Going Through A Emotional Rollarcoaster

It hasn’t been the easiest time for Kelly Clarkson. In a new interview with Glamour U.K’s series Glamour Unfiltered, the 38-year-old singer said she’s “been an emotional rollercoaster.”

Working Parent

“This has been really hard as a working parent, because I’m still doing all the same jobs,” she said, later adding. “I’m just doing all the jobs, and it’s just been exhausting honestly. Plus, you know, cooking every meal and cleaning nonstop after toddlers and teenagers. I’m trying to be a happy distraction for everyone and it gets old seeing the same sweatshirt, you know, over and over. So, it’s like all things are crazy.”

Juggling a # of Things

The Voice coach then spoke about how she’s been juggling a number of things.

“I’ve definitely had to remind people that I work with, ‘You hired a mom, and I’m not an absentee mom. I’m a full-on mom,'” she said. “I already have abandonment issues, so I don’t want to pass those down.”

Rid of that

“I don’t think you get rid of that,” she told the magazine. “It’s almost like, you know, I have people in my life that suffer from addiction to certain things, and that doesn’t go away. It’s always there. It’s just navigating your life around that existence in your life. So, you don’t ever, like, one day wake up and are like, ‘OK, I’m totally cool with the fact that I have major abandonment issues because, you know, horrible things happened.'”

However, the American Idol alumna said they’ve made her who she is.

“You know, I’m a very strong individual. I’m very confident, and I’ve been forced to find that in myself at a very early age,” she said. “At some point, I say thank you to my father, who passed away last year. But I thank him in a sense of like, you know, I wouldn’t have become this, I don’t think, I wouldn’t have been able to be all that I am right now without all of that.”

She also acknowledged that “it’s always going to present itself.”

“You know, you get married and you’re like, ‘Oh, I have no one for the dance or to walk me down the aisle. You know what? I’m not going to get married, just going to elope,'” she said. “There are always things that happen that come up that kind of bum you out.”

Body Image

At one point in the interview, Clarkson spoke about body image in the industry.

“I felt more pressure from people actually when I was thin, like when I was really thin and not super healthy, like in that sense, because I just was worn out and just working so hard and not keeping healthy habits,” she told Glamour U.K. “But I felt more pressure. It was more of like, you know, magazines shoved in front of you and like, ‘This is what you’re competing with and we’ve got to compete with it.’ I’m like, ‘I can’t compete with that. That’s not even my image. That’s not who I am. Like, that’s who they are. That’s what art is. We’re all different and, like, it’s OK. I fought more when I was thinner than I do now. Because now I just walk in and I just look at them like, ‘I dare you to say something. I’m happy in my life. I’ll work on me in my time! And that’s who I am and that’s OK.'”

She continued to speak about having the magazine covers shoved in front of her later during the discussion.

“There would be a, like, chick naked on the cover. Like, I’m not joking, like, literally naked,” she later added. “I was like, ‘Unless I’m doing an SNL skit and this is a comedy thing, I’m never going to pull it off!’ Not because of my aesthetic. Like even in my thinnest, most fit moment, it’s just not my personality to be naked on the front of a magazine. Now, mind you, my husband will tell you, I am totally OK with nudity. I think it is a beautiful thing. I think all of our bodies, whether you’re male or female, we are very beautiful beings. I have no problem with it. But I do have a problem with someone chasing what they think is popular and what is going to get them played.”

Divorce

While it wasn’t immediately clear when the interview was conducted, Glamour U.K. released it just days after reports spread that Clarkson filed for divorce from Brandon Blackstock. The stars wed in 2013 and welcomed two children together. Blackstock also has two kids from a previous marriage. Clarkson was spotted without her wedding ring on earlier this week.

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